A hard day at the... office?
You know, its days like this that make me wonder why I'm in this profession.
I mean, really make me wonder... not just my usual idle musing about purpose and potential but a deep-seated, questioning, 'is this why I'm here?'
Its not often that I have a bad enough day to even consider that, but then today was exceptionally bad. Didn't start out that way, but it most certainly ended that way.
First off, I got home later than normal last night and had to sneak in past the servants for a change; an easy task for all that it was annoying. Then I discovered that my dagger had indeed gotten chipped while I was working, and honestly there's nothing I hate more than sharpening daggers. Price I pay for using them I guess.
Well anyway, that took an hour or so to complete at which point I quickly got into bed to snatch at least some sleep before I was awakened by the maid. I got a grand total of one hour before I was dragged off to get washed and dressed up in 'finery' (nothing fine about it. Skirts are a pain in the neck to move in, corset makes it hard to breathe, and there's nowhere to hide a dagger) for my audience with yet another stream of 'suitors'. I sometimes wonder why I haven't simply taken care of my parents and done away with the whole getting betrothed thing...
It didn't even get better later on. After a full day of leering, smarmy, idiotic courtiers I collapsed on my bed and slept far beyond my usual time. Meaning I missed a very important meeting and spent the rest of the night hurrying to catch up. I actually LOST money today, which is unheardof... and to cap it all Tonalay (that amateur cutpurse) got smart and tried to tell me how to do my job. He lost some teeth, naturally. It made me feel slightly better.
And yet... I lie here unable to sleep. Too tired I guess. Or the firestarters are too noisy. Either way; I wonder why it is I still keep up this double life... I know which is the more satisfying and profitable (though admittedly the extra revenue from my day 'job' is useful). I wonder how much longer I can forstall any sort of marriage - my father's already threatened to choose for me soon... Which is ridiculous. After all, what need have I for a husband?
I mean, really make me wonder... not just my usual idle musing about purpose and potential but a deep-seated, questioning, 'is this why I'm here?'
Its not often that I have a bad enough day to even consider that, but then today was exceptionally bad. Didn't start out that way, but it most certainly ended that way.
First off, I got home later than normal last night and had to sneak in past the servants for a change; an easy task for all that it was annoying. Then I discovered that my dagger had indeed gotten chipped while I was working, and honestly there's nothing I hate more than sharpening daggers. Price I pay for using them I guess.
Well anyway, that took an hour or so to complete at which point I quickly got into bed to snatch at least some sleep before I was awakened by the maid. I got a grand total of one hour before I was dragged off to get washed and dressed up in 'finery' (nothing fine about it. Skirts are a pain in the neck to move in, corset makes it hard to breathe, and there's nowhere to hide a dagger) for my audience with yet another stream of 'suitors'. I sometimes wonder why I haven't simply taken care of my parents and done away with the whole getting betrothed thing...
It didn't even get better later on. After a full day of leering, smarmy, idiotic courtiers I collapsed on my bed and slept far beyond my usual time. Meaning I missed a very important meeting and spent the rest of the night hurrying to catch up. I actually LOST money today, which is unheardof... and to cap it all Tonalay (that amateur cutpurse) got smart and tried to tell me how to do my job. He lost some teeth, naturally. It made me feel slightly better.
And yet... I lie here unable to sleep. Too tired I guess. Or the firestarters are too noisy. Either way; I wonder why it is I still keep up this double life... I know which is the more satisfying and profitable (though admittedly the extra revenue from my day 'job' is useful). I wonder how much longer I can forstall any sort of marriage - my father's already threatened to choose for me soon... Which is ridiculous. After all, what need have I for a husband?
posted by Heather at 8:43 pm
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